Thursday, April 21, 2011

hear what's not being said

I get to meet new people... a lot. I was good at remembering names at one point in my life, but not anymore. Nope. It's not because each person I meet is not extremely awesome, it's just too much for my brain. Meeting new people is usually really fun. There's always the possibility that something disasterous could happen, but usually I find it pretty entertaining. Whatever the case, I can always learn something if I just take the time to listen and respond appropriately. (Emphasis on the word appropiately- hehe!) And learning about the other person is really important for a good relationship. Well, recently I was having a first-time convo with someone I had just met. And within 5 minutes of listening, I knew what I can imagine was every accomplishment of their life and everything they were really awesome at. I don't know if you've ever found yourself in that kind of situation before, but usually for me, it's not pretty. Normally, I probably would've taken that as a challenge and found a way to interject why I was equally awesome, or I would've avoided the whole situation and pretended like I had to potty. Sometimes I just throw it out there, and sometimes I completely avoid the whole thing. You never really know which one it's going to be. But this time something different happened. I was totally shocked and think that the angel of the Lord must have slapped some duct tape on my mouth so I couldn't speak, and glued my feet to the floor so I couldn't make a quick escape to the bathroom with my fake potty emergency. I just listened. And listened. And nodded. And listened. And as I listened Jesus showed me something really cool. He showed me that when people really believe they are awesome, they are less likely to seek affirmation from others by being loud about how great they are. This person didn't know they were awesome. What looked like bragging was really a cry for help. Tears late at night when no one is around is interpreted totally different in public. I found myself in the position to be the one that would let her know how incredible and irreplaceable she is. So, that's what I did. Oh wow. How awesome. You are amazing. And it wasn't fake either. It was a real Jesus moment. Now, as I stated earlier, this was not the normal response for that kind of conversation, so please understand my heart. I'm saying all this as encouragement to see past what is being said, to what need is being covered up, what cry is coming from a deep place that hurts, and responding... appropriately. ;)

Monday, April 18, 2011

Bump, Set, Spike!

I love to watch a good volleyball game. The key word here is watch because to be totally honest, I'm athletically pathetic. So watching is the position I take in the game. And the main reason I love to watch volleyball is for the bump, set, spike. It's almost like this process plays in slow motion for me. Someone is getting set up to score with an amazing "how do they do that" spike. But it's not just the person at the front of the net whose responsible for what just went down. No, every person involved in the process rejoices, hugs, high fives, and does that weird jump on each other thing that girl volleyball teams do, because they know that they each had a part in the beatdown that just happened to the other team. This morning I was reading in Ruth. Oh, how I love the book of Ruth. She is just way too awesome for me. And that's why I love to read about her. She loses her husband, she vows to follow her mother-in-law wherever she may go, and she decides to follow BEHIND THE SERVANT GIRLS to gather sheaves. Then Boaz notices her, she wins his heart, they get married and live happily ever after. Oh yeah, she is the woman. But something I didn't notice until today is the part that Naomi played in Ruth's story. In Ruth 1:22, you'll notice that Naomi returned to Bethlehem as the barley harvest was beginning, accompanied by Ruth. In other words, where they went and when they went were Naomi's decisions. Ruth was simply following her at this point. Then it just so happens that Boaz, one of Naomi's relatives just so happens to have a field where Ruth just so happens to go glean. Now, I'm not trying to read too much in between the lines here. I know that our steps are ordained by God. But don't you agree that Naomi knew what was going on and had a cheeky smile on her face the whole time, and was nudging Ruth in a certain direction? In Ruth 2:2, Ruth decided to glean in the field to which Naomi replies, "Go ahead, my daughter." Now let me pause for a minute and interject a little 21st century insight. To me this sounds a lot like, "Go ahead and get your man, honey." She is calling Ruth her daughter here, which means that she is caring for her as she would her own daughter. And what mother in her right mind does not want to set her daughter up with a great man? Let's continue. Ruth gathers more than enough barley and when she shows Naomi, Naomi says, "Where did you glean today? Where did you work? Blessed be the man that took notice of you!" As if she didn't know! What a sneak! Ruth never told Naomi that a man had taken notice and helped her out before this point. I'm thinking that Naomi knew exactly what was going on here. Ruth begins telling her about Boaz... why, I'm not so sure, because Naomi probably already knew everything she was going to say anyways... and when she does, Naomi says in verse 20, "That man is our close relative; he is one of our guardian-redeemers." Oh, really, Naomi? You just realized this? This wasn't your plan allll alllooonngg?? ;) A guadian-redeemer is also called a kinsman redeemer. A kinsman redeemer avenged deaths, claimed inheritances for poor family members, and married the widow of a dead male relative. Ok, I see exactly what is going on here. Naomi then goes on to tell her to stay in that field because she may be harmed in someone elses. A little manipulative, but do you blame her? She is the matchmaker of all matchmakers. If people didn't want to be married any time soon, I'm sure they stayed far away from Naomi. She's a beast when it comes to this stuff. I'm impressed. Then she proceeds to tell her she needs to find a home for Ruth and instructs her in exactly what she should do to win Boaz's heart. Bump, set, spike, Ruth walks right into her destiny. Yes, Ruth is awesome. If Ruth had left Naomi and the other girl had stayed (we don't even remember her name, do we??), someone else could've had her man instead of her. It was through her faithfulness to Naomi that she was blessed like she was. But I would also like to point out that behind every great Ruth is a great Naomi. That woman was setting Ruth up to walk straight into her destiny, and we have the same opportunity to do that for others. It doesn't matter who bumps, who sets, or who spikes, because God's purposes are going to move forward and we can all rejoice in the fact that someone just stepped into their calling. We are going to set someone up to score a point and someone is going to set us up to score a point. But it's all for the Kingdom of God. Different roles, different giftings, different personalities all working together for a common cause, the cause of Christ. Score!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Do today what you want done unto you tomorrow

I had a conversation with a friend recently that has stirred something in me. We were talking about being the new kid. You know, being new to the job, new to your church, new to a neighborhood, or all of the above. Whatever the case, being the newbie is very challenging. You have to meet new friends, you have needs that must be met, you are looking for a listening ear, and at some point you feel all alone. And there are people that embrace you and people that don't. Many times in my life I have been the newbie. Pastoring and developing 6 youth groups over the past 5 years and taking lots of students on missions has called for a lot of first-time experiences, many opportunities for new friendships, some opportunities for new intense conflict, and even one "I don't know how to say this, but why are you here?" And I remember those that embraced me and helped me adapt to my new place. Those people are forever in my heart and I know that God will bless them big-time for the sacrificial kindness shown to me. And then there were some that didn't. I try to think on the ones that did rather than the ones that didn't. Everyone has been there at one time or another. You walk into a room and no one says hello. You sit down by yourself, and no one befriends you. You do something that may be a little different than the way they do, or you say something a little strange by their standards, and you are met by odd glances, silence, and everyone looking for a way to escape! I try very hard to embrace new people, because I remember what it was like so well and I am continually placed in that position. However, I am by no means claiming to be perfect at this and by no means am I claiming to have never neglected an opportunity to be warm and welcoming to someone I did not already know. Just recently I met a young lady in our church 3 times without remembering her. I know how many times, because she told me. I felt awful! It's horrible to feel forgotten. So I'm not writing this to say "I'm great at this and you should be too." I'm writing this to encourage us to look at someone new as if it were us in that position. How would we want to be treated? I encourage you to look back and remember what it was like to be the new person. What words were spoken that still hurt? What neglect did you undergo through that experience? Who embraced you and treated you as though you were the best thing since DVR? And I encourage you to operate from that place. How do you treat the new kids? Do you ignore them? Do you wait for them to prove themselves before you put yourself out there? Do you respond positively to their efforts? Do you think it's not your problem and wait for someone else to do it? Do you just simply not see them because you are too concerned with yourself? Or maybe it is as innocent as being in a rush or having too much on your plate? Some might say, "well, I'm just not good at that." Well, awesome. Let's all not do anything unless we think we're great at it and see how fast we can get nowhere. What we may not realize is that our failure to operate in our weaknesses could have a negative and even detrimental effect on another's life. I know we're not going to be perfect at it and that there will be times when we fall short, but why not try? Just give it a shot. Because you never know how deep your actions and reactions go into another's heart until that very thing happens to you. I don't want to have to wait until it happens to me to realize it was wrong or wait until it's not happening for me to realize it would've been awesome. What about you?